The First Of Goodbyes. November 12, 2017.
p.s. if you want to receive Sigo Vivo's [ENGLISH] newsletter and/or perhaps support them financially in the future (they don't have much), there's a way to do that. Shoot us a message and we can let you know how!
You can't really prepare well for it. You could write a speech, but you know that in the moment there's going to be like 5 more things to say.
It hurts, but it feels so good to end with a smile, a tear, and a bittersweet hug. And it doesn't feel complete, really. You can't feel everything, can't say everything, can't capture everything.
Today was our last day at Sigo Vivo--a ministry to street youth across the heart of Guatemala City. If you've followed along this whole time, you've probably caught a number of stories and struggles and victories on this front. They all come flooding back today as a host of faces started at us during the time left for thank you's and goodbyes. Among them, Manuel who has left drugs, had a job for awhile and been a good dad, and been a friend to me for two years. Among them, 2 kids in the front whose mother, Milvia, had died from being drugged by someone else in the street. Among them, Julio, age 29, who studied first grade this year, helped serve food at Sigo Vivo, huffs a lot of solvent, and has a pretty standard eye roll when you're not giving him what he wants. Among them, Majo, a volunteer who after being pushed out of her church has come to find a home at Sigo Vivo, visiting kids in the street, attending and leading the Sunday church in the street. Among them, Omar, who we just met today, but had some kind words and well-wishes for us. Among them, the Hernanadezes, whose hearts are so humble and so full of the love of God; full enough to keep loving on, visiting, engaging the gospel, playing games with, and smiling with (mostly) drug-addicted street kids for 4 years now, whether they change or not. They have loved us so well here.
Surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, so many of the sour moments--the manipulative gestures in the clinic, the thank-you-less lunches and conversation snubs--melt away. And what's left? Their hearts. Battered, bruised, insulted, resilient, surviving, grateful.
We saw their hearts, stripped down, and the goodness that is in them. We felt our hearts soften, let go of whatever frustrations there had been, and get to finish with a hug. We hugged people we loved, and people we didn't know that we loved until today.
Sigo Vivo has been a story of God just doing his will: our first clumsy bi-lingual conversation with the Hernanadezes at a conference 2 weeks into being in Guatemala, their exit from their church and continued dedication to the kids, the people we came to know, to sit next to, touch, joke with, think with, struggle with. God has been so obvious in bringing us there and keeping us there in whatever capacity; we can only pray for God's will to keep being done within Sigo Vivo as they move forward.
We'll always chuckle at the weeks when we listened to peoples' [hard, unbelievably hard] stories without knowing enough Spanish to understand more than half of it. We'll never forget the complexity of their stories (now that we can understand them). It's different driving past them on the road versus sitting down to a meal with them, learning that they first killed someone when they were 8, starting doing drugs at 10, lost their family at 6, ran away from the gang life at 16. These realities change lives. They hurt. They ruin people. They move us towards compassion. We'll never forget having Jurie at our house after a rough week in the streets for him. We'll never forget the struggle of understanding "survival mentality" and being compassionate towards them within their reality. We'll never forget Ernesto eating 7 bowls of soup, and the constant question of "What's the name of this food you made?" We'll never forget driving and running and walking through zone 3 and zone 1 and accidentally running into Sigo Vivo friends there, posted in alleys and sidewalks. We'll never forget the day Sigo Vivo came to watch the Toros' football game and became immediate fans. We'll never forget the learning and tension created by being seated as equals at a banquet with those living with incomparably less resources and incomparably more obstacles than us. The contrast is legendary and hard. We were truly stretched as a part of Sigo Vivo; we're like gymnasts now, or yoga masters. (But not really cause yoga masters actually know what they're doing and we still don't know how to properly handle these things).
So this is the first of the "lasts." Three and a half weeks from boarding a plane (something no one in Sigo Vivo will ever do), and we're not sure who we'll see again and who we won't. Taty (leader of Sigo Vivo) always challenges us as volunteers to treat every encounter like it's your last with the street kids because you never know what can happen in the streets--jail, murder, beatings, running away. That was doubly true today, as we're the ones leaving, for now. We try to express gratitude, but its not enough, we try to receive their well-wishes and gratitude but it's like holding water in our palms.
We are different because of Sigo Vivo. We are less likely to jump at the first opportunity to give to someone, but more likely to take the opportunity to get to know them, push for the truth of their story, and believe in the value of being human together. We are more likely to admire the faith of those on the margins, even if they're sporting a crack pipe or sniffing paint thinner, for they live daily against many sufferings and still seek God. We are more likely to support and involve ourselves in things based on how they love people than (just) on how well-structured their programs are (or appear to be). Says Eugene Cho: "Without genuine relationships with the poor, we rob them of their dignity and they become mere projects. And God did not intend for anyone to become our projects."
It's hard to say goodbye to that from which we've learned these things and more. It's hard to say goodbye to those volunteers we admire and those growing stories we love being a part of. On the other hand, if we're honest, it's a relief to not have to struggle to maintain order, keep fairness, try to love and be expected of to always give [medicine, food, tortillas, money]. What we do know is that Sigo Vivo has been and always will be an exercise in faith in the will of God. The length and process and finish of Julio's story is under the God's will; it doesn't depend on us. Our connection with Sigo Vivo going forward is under God's will. The future of the the ministry--the funding, the next volunteers, the next young person who finds the love of God through Taty and Rudy--is under God's will. So we trust Him, we love Him, and we say goodbye; we hope to see you soon.
Questions For You:
Who's the last person you've said goodbye to? How did you feel? How did you make them feel?
Goodbyes are important as to what posture we take. I want to be a "there YOU are" kind of person instead of a "here I am" person--to value the person across for me more than myself.
Thanks for being with us, many of you from the hello's to the goodbye's. With love,
-AJ and Alaina
p.s. Things We're Into Lately
1) Acheivement: Dad, Michael (brother), and Cody (bro-in-law) finished the Athens Marathon this morning, and Mom ran the 10K!
2) Music Project: Porter's Gate Worship Project. Jesse just introduced us today, and there are some brilliant things there.
3) Quote: "The more diverse a group is, the more important it is that we are united in a purpose. So a homogenous group can have a shaky purpose and get by, but a diverse group has to have a solid, powerful, compelling, purpose. -Makeda McCreary, Urban Doxology
4) Series: Stranger Things 2 has come and gone, folks.
5) Adventure: Cruising, Climbing, Snorkeling, Eating, Vomiting, Fishing, and Enjoying the parents and Rudy and Tatiana (from Sigo Vivo) in Belize a few weeks ago! God is sooooo good! (pics here)
6) Food: Did a little detox diet for a week. Pineapple Avocado Ginger Smoothie. Coconut Curry Fish. Crunchy Detox Salad. Spinach Strawberry Salad. Also made a dirty good creamy potato soup for Sigo Vivo this week.
7) Self-Inflicted Wounds: I (AJ) am rockin' plantarfasciitis, so I put an insole in my running shoe and run a ways, open a terrible blister on my 2nd toe, which gets infected, so left foot has been real strug's all week. Also froze a wart off on the ring finger and then burnt my other fingers on the potato soup pot. Giving the band-aid box its due attention.
You can't really prepare well for it. You could write a speech, but you know that in the moment there's going to be like 5 more things to say.
It hurts, but it feels so good to end with a smile, a tear, and a bittersweet hug. And it doesn't feel complete, really. You can't feel everything, can't say everything, can't capture everything.
Today was our last day at Sigo Vivo--a ministry to street youth across the heart of Guatemala City. If you've followed along this whole time, you've probably caught a number of stories and struggles and victories on this front. They all come flooding back today as a host of faces started at us during the time left for thank you's and goodbyes. Among them, Manuel who has left drugs, had a job for awhile and been a good dad, and been a friend to me for two years. Among them, 2 kids in the front whose mother, Milvia, had died from being drugged by someone else in the street. Among them, Julio, age 29, who studied first grade this year, helped serve food at Sigo Vivo, huffs a lot of solvent, and has a pretty standard eye roll when you're not giving him what he wants. Among them, Majo, a volunteer who after being pushed out of her church has come to find a home at Sigo Vivo, visiting kids in the street, attending and leading the Sunday church in the street. Among them, Omar, who we just met today, but had some kind words and well-wishes for us. Among them, the Hernanadezes, whose hearts are so humble and so full of the love of God; full enough to keep loving on, visiting, engaging the gospel, playing games with, and smiling with (mostly) drug-addicted street kids for 4 years now, whether they change or not. They have loved us so well here.
Surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, so many of the sour moments--the manipulative gestures in the clinic, the thank-you-less lunches and conversation snubs--melt away. And what's left? Their hearts. Battered, bruised, insulted, resilient, surviving, grateful.
We saw their hearts, stripped down, and the goodness that is in them. We felt our hearts soften, let go of whatever frustrations there had been, and get to finish with a hug. We hugged people we loved, and people we didn't know that we loved until today.
Sigo Vivo has been a story of God just doing his will: our first clumsy bi-lingual conversation with the Hernanadezes at a conference 2 weeks into being in Guatemala, their exit from their church and continued dedication to the kids, the people we came to know, to sit next to, touch, joke with, think with, struggle with. God has been so obvious in bringing us there and keeping us there in whatever capacity; we can only pray for God's will to keep being done within Sigo Vivo as they move forward.
We'll always chuckle at the weeks when we listened to peoples' [hard, unbelievably hard] stories without knowing enough Spanish to understand more than half of it. We'll never forget the complexity of their stories (now that we can understand them). It's different driving past them on the road versus sitting down to a meal with them, learning that they first killed someone when they were 8, starting doing drugs at 10, lost their family at 6, ran away from the gang life at 16. These realities change lives. They hurt. They ruin people. They move us towards compassion. We'll never forget having Jurie at our house after a rough week in the streets for him. We'll never forget the struggle of understanding "survival mentality" and being compassionate towards them within their reality. We'll never forget Ernesto eating 7 bowls of soup, and the constant question of "What's the name of this food you made?" We'll never forget driving and running and walking through zone 3 and zone 1 and accidentally running into Sigo Vivo friends there, posted in alleys and sidewalks. We'll never forget the day Sigo Vivo came to watch the Toros' football game and became immediate fans. We'll never forget the learning and tension created by being seated as equals at a banquet with those living with incomparably less resources and incomparably more obstacles than us. The contrast is legendary and hard. We were truly stretched as a part of Sigo Vivo; we're like gymnasts now, or yoga masters. (But not really cause yoga masters actually know what they're doing and we still don't know how to properly handle these things).
So this is the first of the "lasts." Three and a half weeks from boarding a plane (something no one in Sigo Vivo will ever do), and we're not sure who we'll see again and who we won't. Taty (leader of Sigo Vivo) always challenges us as volunteers to treat every encounter like it's your last with the street kids because you never know what can happen in the streets--jail, murder, beatings, running away. That was doubly true today, as we're the ones leaving, for now. We try to express gratitude, but its not enough, we try to receive their well-wishes and gratitude but it's like holding water in our palms.
We are different because of Sigo Vivo. We are less likely to jump at the first opportunity to give to someone, but more likely to take the opportunity to get to know them, push for the truth of their story, and believe in the value of being human together. We are more likely to admire the faith of those on the margins, even if they're sporting a crack pipe or sniffing paint thinner, for they live daily against many sufferings and still seek God. We are more likely to support and involve ourselves in things based on how they love people than (just) on how well-structured their programs are (or appear to be). Says Eugene Cho: "Without genuine relationships with the poor, we rob them of their dignity and they become mere projects. And God did not intend for anyone to become our projects."
It's hard to say goodbye to that from which we've learned these things and more. It's hard to say goodbye to those volunteers we admire and those growing stories we love being a part of. On the other hand, if we're honest, it's a relief to not have to struggle to maintain order, keep fairness, try to love and be expected of to always give [medicine, food, tortillas, money]. What we do know is that Sigo Vivo has been and always will be an exercise in faith in the will of God. The length and process and finish of Julio's story is under the God's will; it doesn't depend on us. Our connection with Sigo Vivo going forward is under God's will. The future of the the ministry--the funding, the next volunteers, the next young person who finds the love of God through Taty and Rudy--is under God's will. So we trust Him, we love Him, and we say goodbye; we hope to see you soon.
Questions For You:
Who's the last person you've said goodbye to? How did you feel? How did you make them feel?
Goodbyes are important as to what posture we take. I want to be a "there YOU are" kind of person instead of a "here I am" person--to value the person across for me more than myself.
Thanks for being with us, many of you from the hello's to the goodbye's. With love,
-AJ and Alaina
p.s. Things We're Into Lately
1) Acheivement: Dad, Michael (brother), and Cody (bro-in-law) finished the Athens Marathon this morning, and Mom ran the 10K!
2) Music Project: Porter's Gate Worship Project. Jesse just introduced us today, and there are some brilliant things there.
3) Quote: "The more diverse a group is, the more important it is that we are united in a purpose. So a homogenous group can have a shaky purpose and get by, but a diverse group has to have a solid, powerful, compelling, purpose. -Makeda McCreary, Urban Doxology
4) Series: Stranger Things 2 has come and gone, folks.
5) Adventure: Cruising, Climbing, Snorkeling, Eating, Vomiting, Fishing, and Enjoying the parents and Rudy and Tatiana (from Sigo Vivo) in Belize a few weeks ago! God is sooooo good! (pics here)
6) Food: Did a little detox diet for a week. Pineapple Avocado Ginger Smoothie. Coconut Curry Fish. Crunchy Detox Salad. Spinach Strawberry Salad. Also made a dirty good creamy potato soup for Sigo Vivo this week.
7) Self-Inflicted Wounds: I (AJ) am rockin' plantarfasciitis, so I put an insole in my running shoe and run a ways, open a terrible blister on my 2nd toe, which gets infected, so left foot has been real strug's all week. Also froze a wart off on the ring finger and then burnt my other fingers on the potato soup pot. Giving the band-aid box its due attention.